I don't really feel like posting...

I really don't feel like posting. 

Sometimes, a lot of the times really, we are called to do things and we just don't feel like it.
And Sometimes, a lot of the times, we don't.
 We don't do what we don't feel like doing. 

Feelings. Def: 1) An emotional state or reaction 2) a belief; usually a vague or irrational one.  

Irrational. Def: Unreasonable, illogical, groundless, unjustifiable. 

Ground. (v)  Def: base, foundation, root.

So lets really look at this. Reaction? Often, most times, reactions are not good. They are usually based on emotions that are not built on truth or solid perspective. They too often are not focused on the goal or end in mind. Usually we let our feelings which are definitely fickle control our decisions which then in turn control our circumstances. In reality, we have the power the ability to do just the opposite. When we make irrational decisions, they are without reason, unjustifiable or groundless meaning that they do not have a good ground, foundation or root. Are you picking up what I am putting down here?

Man, if there is absolutely anything that I want in my life it's to bear the light and love of Jesus and to bear good fruit. If you are not grounded on a solid foundation and have deep roots in every area of your  life it is hard to flourish. It is hard to produce a good harvest. 

Ditch your feelings.
Do what you decided you were going to do the day you 1) decided to lose weight 2) decided to run that race 3) decided you needed to change 4) decided to take the new job or maybe quit one you hated. 5) decided you wanted to be a better spouse/love 6) decided you wanted to love people more. 7) decided to build that business

I could go on forever. What ever it is for you... Decide. On day one just decide and NEVER no matter how you feel never ever let your choices go the opposite direction of that decision.

I didn't feel like writing this post. God has called me though to do so! So I praise Him for the roots that he is growing deep into Him. Hopefully it helped someone! 

"AINT NO BODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!" -- LIES!

7:15.

7:15 A...M.

That means in the morning.

Like... before the sun.

Before I function.

Which means I woke up at 6:30ish.

6:30....AM.

Not PM.

In the morning.

Before I function.

And it's dark.

For those of you who truly know me, know that this is such a big deal for me.  I do not do mornings well and I never have until now. I am choosing to. Ain't no body got time to waste anymore. It is worth overcoming. Usually we go to 8:15 but we are doing some 7:15 days to discipline us and help us achieve more in our workouts as well as be productive at work afterwards. This is not what I want to do. This is not what I FEEL like doing. This is not what feels good. I am tired. I am sore. I work out better in the evening than I do in the morning but I have taebo things in the evenings as well as building my business. If I want to move forward, I have to MAKE time. I have to CHOOSE to do it no matter what I FEEL.

I am not married. I do not have kids. I cannot even pretend to know what that's like but I do know people who do who choose to make time and choose not to make excuses. I used to be someone who said that they didn't have time for things. As I have surrounded myself with winners and overcomers, I'm learning something. Truly it's one of the most fascinating and mind blowing facts I have ever known.

We all have 24 hours.

[I just heard some explosions happen in some of your minds.]

i know right? Amazing. It's true. We all have 24 hours. God has not favored one person over another and given them 29 hours and one 12 hours. We all have 24. It's what you choose to do with it. So many people who say they don't have time sure do waste enough time on facebook (and I'm not bashing FB, I use it too...but what are you using it for? To share your passion, to build people up, to encourage, to inspire, or to gossip, tear people down, etc? Just another thought for another day). People don't have time to work out but they sure have time to watch an ENTIRE season of a show in one day. People don't have time to do all kinds of things. And honestly, I care about peoples health and I would love for them to make great decisions but I am not un-wise. God has given me great wisdom and he has also taught me that I cannot control anyone but himself so I like to call this O.P.P = OTHER PEOPLES PROBLEMS. You cannot fix them so stop trying. With that being said, focus on yourself and being better every day and focus on GOD! -- So due to that if you spend all your time on FB, or candy crush or TV or whatever 1) I don't care 2) I really don't care. It's your life- you get to choose. It does not affect whether or not I will succeed. Some of you probably think now I am mean after saying that. Do I want you to succeed of course? Can I make you succeed? NO so I refuse to get tied up trying to control people around me and wanting better for them than they want for themselves not just in health/fitness but in EVERY area. I cannot do it for you. SO- I don't care what you do- there is no judgement but please, I beg you. I am PLEADING with you. STOP saying you DON'T have time and start saying you aren't making time. You are choosing not to. You have plenty time and people do exactly what they want.

Choose your words wisely.

                 Spend your time wisely.

 God is no respector of person.

                    Those who are faithful with little 

will be trusted with much.

MUCH.

MUCH.

MUCH.

MUCH MEANS A LOT.

ABUNDANCE.

FAVOR.

BLESSINGS.

Who does not want that in ANY AND EVERY area of your life? Do small things consistently each day and choose your time wisely and he blesses you. God is so faithful! God be the glory and I thank him for changing my mind, my heart, my work ethic and my thought process. I want Him to trust me with much. Thank you Lord for giving me a traning ground/prep time for I know you have created me in inherent your kingdoms and develop your kingdom for your glory- you have made us to be kings and lords as you are the King of kings and Lord of lords. I praise you!

Be Realistic...

Be Realistic...
                                      Expect Miracles!


My God, my Lord, is so faithful. He is so so very good. I am finally entering in a place where my mind can catch up and get in a good place again. Struggles? You hear me talk a lot about struggles and overcoming them but I don't talk much about my actual struggles on here. That's due to me being a firm believer in not talking about my struggles until I have victory. I refused to be someone who sits and complains about their struggles and where they are- that does not and will not ever help anyone move forward. Focusing on the solution? Now that is the answer. I am so thankful to finally have something to get my mind back in a place of expecting miracles and expecting success and results.

I have struggled my whole life. I have always been heavy. I come from a family that has various people who struggle with their weight/health in some form or another. I am smaller now that I remember being in elementary school. My eighth grade dance dress falls right off me.I think towards the beginning of my journey, there was definitely a sense of urgency that was there. It kept me propelled and moving forward but once I hit this place where complacency set in the battle became more difficult and seeing myself losing weight and hitting my goals became harder and harder. If you cannot see it with your minds eye you cannot achieve. Believe and achieve. Christ tells me that I can accomplish anything with his strength. I truly believe it. When you set big goals or have huge dreams, people tell you to be realistic. What is realistic anyways? Is realistic to YOU being in an below or average dead end job doing the same hum-drum things every day? Is it eating whatever you want without a care in the world because you have given up on any ounce of strength or self-control in side of you? Is it giving up on things that are your passions? - Not for me. THANK GOD I have people in my life that have shown me that being realistic, expecially as a follower and believer in Christ, is to expect miracles. Miracles! ANYTHING I can desire or imagine. God loves me so fiercely and he gives me his love, his strength, his might, his power and he tells me that I can accomplish anything that I set my mind to through his strength. And the even more beautiful thing is that it doesn't have to be in my strength or be about me at all- it's all about Him and his glory! 

I am at a new place. I have lost 130 pounds but I have tons of loose skin. I have spent many moments thinking about going under surgery to get my loose skin removed I don't have the money at the moment nor am I quite convinced that its the route that I want to do considering money, scarring and I feel it's an easy way out of something that may eventually fix itself... who knows. It's frustrating knowing that I would be probably two sizes smaller if I didn't have the looser skin keeping things hanging where they weren't supposed to be. I had started to give up on my skin tightening up and becoming the woman of strength physically that I desire to be. What the heck?! I might as well give up on God and tell him that he cannot do anything. I might as well slam the door in his face and doubt him in every area of my life if I doubt that. I refuse to sit on the fence anymore! My God is my father, my abba, my love, my best friend, my source, my provider, my redeemer, my healer. He can do ANYTHING he wants. I expect Him to because he loves me. BE REALISTIC of YOUR GOD. Be REALISTIC about what HIS word says! Be REALISTIC about how much he loves you! BE REALISTIC...

EXPECT MIRACLES!

[Disclaimer: that doesn't mean sit on your couch with chips and expect to lose 200 pounds. Jus' saying. Jesus respects people who work hard and trust Him to come through with results. Sow them seeds daily and trust Him for the harvest!]

Getting out of the box, getting on the box and breaking the comfort zone

Today was day two of my new adventure to prepare for the spartan race. I am really excited about having new friends to challenge me to grow and change at a rapid rate. And more so I'm excited about having my best friend beside me to encourage me, push me and remind me of the strength thats inside of me. I am really excited and can tell that it's going to be an amazing and effective journey for me and her both.  You know that a work out is good when you are sore 20 minutes after you leave. That's the kind of pushing I am excited about. More so I am proud and pumped about being with people who know how to work hard and challenge themselves every single day knowing that the ultimate goal each day is to just get better day by day. It's not about what she did. It's not about what he does. It's not about what the other girl accomplished. Is not about what the heaviest weight lifted in the room was. Its About you. It's about pushing yourself. It's about each day doing better than the day before.  Its About you becoming a better person Where you are. Doing your ultimate best with what you got when you have it. I truly love that. 

Today was great because we did some things that weren't quite as natural to me As some of the other things have been. So of course it was quite a challenge. We were doing some weight lifting type things where I really have to work on my position and form. I am really excited about learning how to do it right so I can lift effectively, gain strength and not hurt myself. Though this is a challenge for me it was still not uncomfortable and it was something I was excited about figuring out how to do correctly.. We went through some other exercises including jump ropes and lunges etc. Then she said it... Wall push-ups. I thought yes!! I can do push-ups on the wall!!! What she really meant was handstand wall push-ups. What. The. Crap!! I will be really transparent here with you all that was something that terrified me. I can't do a push-up well much less a handstand so i was not even considering the option of putting them together. It was in this moment I started to tear up a little bit. Because deep inside I'm a winner and I'm overcomer and I want to accomplish anything a set my mind to. I wanted to be able to do it right then and there and I'm used to people just making you try something when your muscles in your body and probably my mind Arent ready. I was thankful to have my dear friend there to let me in the eyes and tell me that I was a champ, to remind me of my strength that's inside, and I can do anything I set my mind to. I love this gym because they don't just let you suffer where you are to just say you did the exercise. They you build up where you are so that your muscles become prepped and ready and I know eventually I will be doing those. So we did them on box jump boxes with feet up and pushed up. Talk about getting out of the box and onto of it. And out of My comfort zone. Eventually I will be doing handstand push ups. One day I will be doing the rings.  One day I will be climbing the ropes One day I will be doing push ups and pull-ups by myself. And it's not about even be able to do this but working towards it, becoming better, improving myself, believing in myself, and doing more and trusting the process and building confidence in who I AM and my strength that GOD gives me. He tells me I can do all things so I know that these things are going to happen. I don't know how long it'll take. But it'll be one heckuva party the day I do a wall handstand push-up!! Today with some of the work out I struggled and todays struggle will be tomorrow strength. Victory Is already mine! 

CFD the way to be.

Today's workout

Warm Up
Skill Set
Fives Pushups

WOD
Pullups/Rings
Box Jumps
Wall Squats with Med Ball

I went through 7 times in 15 minutes which was awesome for my first time! It was a great workout and I am so stoked about the people and their hearts, passion, fight & and drive. The thing I am MOST stoked about - every girl in there could do pull ups and their legs DID NOT Jiggle! That means that one day, sooner than later, I WILL be doing pull ups and MY LEGS and ARMS will not jiggle! Totally Stoked about that!



Small Victories of Yesterday

• Chose water over soda on 2 occasions
• Got a "sandwhich in a bowl" without the bread
• Cleaned my apt buildings (which is a workout in itself) but got up early to do so

Yesterdays Struggles that Will Be Todays Strengths (learn from your mistakes!)

• I ate mcdonalds on the way home from charlotte last night driving at 1:00 am to stay awake. oops- The key to success though is not just making a decision and will power... it's also self forgiveness. Too often, I have made a mistake then found myself emotional eating because I had made that bad mistake. Accept it. Forgive. Refocus. Press Forward. Succeed.
• Not enough water and tons of XS (though that is incredible for you... I needed more aqua)
• No workout, outside of cleaning, due to traveling (BTW you can ALWAYS do SOMETHING. It's what we CHOOSE to do. That's going to be a topic one day soon... "Not having time... or CHOOSING not to make time." Stay tuned.

      Your struggle today
                      will be your strength tomorrow.
 

Today's Victories So Far

• Got up this morning to workout
• Cranked it out! Beast Mode! 
• Positive Mindset and reset on Nutrition 
• Only water consumed thus far to drink
• Chose a healthy snack earlier (carrots and hummus) 
• Great sense of self-worth. My worth comes from Jesus. I am thankful.

Avoiding Temptations Later Today

• At 2:30 I am taking a college group to a coffee shop for ministry. I am choosing before I get there NOT to get a drink full of sugar and carbs. I will drink green tea or black coffee. 
• Thursday evenings, I hang with a group of business partners and best friends late late night talking about our dreams, things that matter, where we are going, what we want to accomplish and encouraging each other. I will not eat at Dennys unless it's a salad. I am trying hard to watch how late I eat. Late night eatings tend to only lead to not so healthy choices anyways. 

Know what your struggles & temptations are so that are you are aware and you know how to battle them.
                           Victory is yours. Guard up & Battle.

He truly IS my source!

He truly is my Source.

I will now be doing cross fit in exchange for some bartering of supplements and/or hours helping with a special needs dance class possibly! God is faithful. Truly. I cannot begin to explain how good  He is. If you just ask. If you just trust. His word tells us that He is faithful and that He desires to do good for us. We are his children. I am His daughter. So, of COURSE, he wants to bless me. Why wouldn't he? I am learning that people just really struggle to receive that. We have over time in our lives through out abusive people who often don't mean to be abusive or people trying too hard to be "realistic" that we aren't worthy of more... that God doesn't want to bless us and that could not be further from the truth. God wants us to live life in the fullest and take care of us. We are his beloved child. He delights in doing good. Even when we choose poorly, He delights in us coming to him and then he chooses to delight in making that poor decision work for our good and for His glory. He is so rad! Truly. I am growing more and more in love with Jesus Christ every day. God truly is the desire of my heart.

Crossfit starts tomorrow- 8:15 baby! Time for that good ol discipline, struggle, victory story!


"Your struggle today will become your strength tomorrow."

God is my Source

Today was the beginning of a new adventure.

I am at a different place in my fitness level that I have been in the past 4 years of working out. I am at a place where I really need to focus on building muscle, strength and agility. I have always refused to do Cross Fit because they just branded what trainers do and it's really expensive. Today, I went for a cross fit assessment at Crossfit Discovery on Daniel Island. It truly changed my life. It is exactly what I need that this moment. I need the group camaraderie. I need the challenge. I need the coaching on correct skill sets and posture. I need the accountability and intensity on a daily basis. It's exactly perfect for me in this time in my life especially with the Spartan beast coming up in just a few short months. I need to be deep into this so that Nov. 9 I don't get injured. Seriously. There's a wise way to do everything and I don't want to show up unprepared and get hurt where I can no longer teach TaeBo or have to slow down to recover. With all aspects being perfect,  the cost of 160 a month is still not perfect especially in addition to needing 350 for TaeBo(R) recertification camp in November.  I of course left that place awestruck and so in love; knowing that it's what I need in this point in my life and I quickly was reverting to "there is no way I can afford that in addition to my monthly stuff." Then I was quickly reminded by a best friend that God is my source. How true that is and I will absolutely stand on that as truth and promise. He is my source in every single situation there is.

It's so easy for us to look at our life from a lack mentality but truly truly the Lord has met so many of my needs throughout my life. Not only has he met my needs but he has met my desires. Delight yourself in the Lord and HE WILL give you the desire of your heart. He takes joy in those things. He is our provider.. not your parents, not your boss, not your pay check... HIM! He is my soul source of provision. He has provided so much for me throughout my life but especially in my weightloss/health journey as I have been seeking to love me, discover who he created me to be and do nothing but give the Lord glory and serve others/sow seeds. He has rewarded me from free running shoes back in 2009 when I first was starting, to a trainer who has selflessly given to me expecting nothing in return except to give it my all, to even today when a woman in my taebo class who has lost a good bit of weight brought me FIVE flippin lululemon jackets that don't fit her anymore! (I ALMOST PEED IN MY PANTS!) God shows off like that. Today when she brought me the jackets, it was after the moment where I forgot my provision comes from. Then I quickly reminded myself that God is my source then BAM got to TaeBo at the gym and she had that for me. What a beautiful sign that the Lord cares! He cares about what we desire and wants to provide for us in abundance if we will just receive it. God is my rock and am already claming victory and glory to Him for providing this opportunity for me as well as my recertification. To God be the Glory for the great things he HAS done and CONTINUES to do on a daily basis. He truly is my love, father, best friend and provider.